The Writing Community: Building Connections and Finding Support

Was that the door? Stacy, I think it might be the twins—would you mind getting that? Ah, thank you, my dear! Come on in, take a seat! Help yourself to some of the Chardonnay, Pieter—I know it isn’t the weather for it, but I finished the Merlot last night. And before you ask, the tea-things will be out shortly, Izzy.

Now, for those of you who are new, my name is Shaun and I’m a writer. I’ve published a few short stories in various anthologies throughout the years, I’m on the cusp of publishing my first novel, and I’ve had the pleasure of working with Blue Leaf Editing for a while now, contributing my two scents on writing and editing-related topics.

As you can probably tell by your presence in the parlour instead of the classroom, today’s discussion won’t really delve into the theoretical side of writing. Instead, we’ll be talking about community. The writing community, to be more precise.

What does it mean for us, as writers, to connect with our peers? How do we build valuable relationships with our fellow wordsmiths? What do we, as individuals, have to offer others trying to follow this predominantly solitary pursuit?

Table of Contents

    We’re All Mad Here… Write?

    It’s embarrassing to admit the number of times I’ve called on others in the writing community to help me through the self-doubt and imposter syndrome that accompanies the writing life.

    Hearing their thoughts and opinions on why a story didn’t get accepted or why I shouldn’t quit writing and become a transatlantic cryptozoologist means so much more than those same words spoken by a relative or spouse. Why is that?

    Yes, right you are, Izzy! It’s because they know what you’re going through. They’ve probably had the same thoughts, fears, and feelings. (Possibly not the cryptozoologist bit, mind, but something equally as strange, no doubt!)

    And—yes, Pieter? Ah! Definitely a good question. It’s one that’s especially important in modern society, where everything’s online and forming connections is easier (and more difficult) than ever before. How do we find other writers to connect with?

    The Trials and Rewards of the Social Road

    The Challenges of Connecting

    As you all know, writing is largely a solo activity. We writers tend to live in our heads (which is unsurprising, especially for those of us writing fiction because that’s where the party is)..

    This often leads to some difficulties when trying to find like-minded individuals in the writing community. It’s not easy for a lot of us to just walk into a room of people and start participating—but, luckily, we have the internet to help us overcome challenges in joining a writing community.

    Newsletters: Soaking Up Writing Resources from Pros

    I have to mention this way of connecting first because it probably provided me with the most value. Many people are inclined to see newsletters as spam, but I heartily disagree. I look forward to several newsletters each month, including those written by Gail Carriger and V.E. Schwab (both relatable and remarkably entertaining).

    As a starting point, sign up for some of your favourite author’s newsletters. I’ve gotten my fair share of encouragement and emotional support from these—additionally, the shared resources and knowledge are a great bonus.

    Social Media: Connecting with Online Writing Groups

    Most of you already know this, but social media platforms are another great way to connect with writers and get involved in the writing community. Here’s a list of the ones I use and how they’ve worked for me:

      •   Instagram: The platform is great for connecting with other writers on a personal level. Through interacting with their stories and posts, I’ve met some really nice people.
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      •   Facebook: Another nice platform to connect through, Facebook also has an abundance of groups for writers to join. I’ve joined several, some focused on publishing and marketing, others on writing fiction. There’s a lot of spam, unfortunately, but the right group offers a lot of entertainment and encouragement for participants.
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      •     Reddit: The front page of the internet, as their slogan goes, is a fantastic way to meet other writers. The platform’s collection of online forums and groups is honestly a great way to get involved and start building relationships within the writing community.

    A word to the wise, though: while social media might be a great tool, in the wrong hands it can do a lot of damage.

    Some people involved with online writing communities don’t have your best interests at heart. Scams abound and people can be cruel—so keep that in mind when you traverse the digital landscape in search of camaraderie.

    Writing Workshops and Social Events: Conquering Awkwardness

    Now, I’m going to be honest with you all—and I’m sure the twins can attest to this—I’m rather awkward when you first meet me. For some reason, when I’m around people I’m not familiar with, the words get stuck in my throat. I’m sure a lot of you—with the exception of Izzy, of course—can relate.

    Attending events might be a bit trickier for those of the introvert-persuasion, but once you make it work, it’ll definitely be worth it. It’s really difficult to make friends as an adult—but the one sure way to do it? Show up consistently. Have a writing group in your area?

    Don’t be afraid to go and seem awkward for the first few meetings. The awkwardness will pass the more you participate. There are also a lot of events on Facebook that are aimed specifically at the writing community—maybe consider attending one? To make it easier for you, just keep the following in mind:

      • Slow and steady wins the race.
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      • Showing up is most of the work. Do it consistently and you’ll be surprised by the results.
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      • You can leave whenever you want to.

    That last part is especially true. You have agency, every single one of you. Don’t like an event or a specific online community? Ask yourself why. Have a valid reason? Then look elsewhere for your people.

    A Writer’s Lot and Offerings

    When I attended the Franschhoek Literary Festival a few months ago, I was surprised by how important it is to surround yourself—if only on occasion—with individuals who know what you’re going through and who can provide you with support, feedback, and encouragement when necessary.

    It really was the point that I started to believe a community of writers might be even more beneficial to writers than many care to admit. It makes you feel a bit more normal than you actually are, hearing people talk about things that you experience (ahem, writer’s block, anyone?).

    This actually brings me to a very interesting discussion that I had with Stacy this morning—don’t look so modest, Stacy. You raised some valid points about the importance of sharing writing and the quality of your own feedback.

    Value to and From a Writing Group

    Now, I’ve spoken before about giving feedback that writers can appreciate and use. The twins weren’t in that class, so I thought I’d give a quick rundown of (what I consider to be) the most important part of that lesson.

    The Value of Honesty

    This is a point that I’ll raise time and time again:

    Honesty is key when receiving and providing feedback to a writer. Honesty doesn’t have to be rude, but writers can’t grow if they don’t know what they’re doing wrong.

    Be open to answering questions about the feedback you give, while also being open to asking questions about the feedback you receive. The answers might not always be satisfying, but they tend to shed light on the method behind the madness.

    Editing, Marketing, Publishing

    Aside from the encouragement and collaboration, there are various other (often overlooked) benefits of joining a writing community. In my experience, the three most underrated insights that a person gets from the whole experience are the aspects of the work that come after it’s been relatively polished.

    Writing communities are invaluable to people who are looking for advice on how to market and—for those self-publishers out there (I’m looking at you Pieter)—publish a book. Numerous people have done it and done it well.

    I learned quite a bit about Kindle Direct Publishing on Facebook and several marketing techniques from authors I follow on Instagram. Their trial and error makes your trial and error a little less horrible.

    Pieter’s Takeaways on Writing Communities

    Pieter, I see that you were taking notes while I was talking. If I’m not mistaken, you were making a bulleted list of the important points, as you saw them. Would you mind if I gave that a quick look-see? Maybe share them with the group? I’ve heard that your notes are always spot-on. Thank you very much! Now, here’s what he wrote:

      • Writing communities are invaluable to writers because they provide much-needed support and encouragement.
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      • Online and offline writing communities are great for connecting, each coming with its own challenges and rewards.
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      • Offline writing communities may be awkward at first, but that will fade the more you show up.
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      • As an individual, you also bring value to a group. This is important to remember.
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      • Honesty, integrity, and communication are key to receiving and offering value to a writing community.
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      • Writing communities don’t only share resources and knowledge on writing, but also the publishing and marketing side of things.

    Look at that! You hit the proverbial nail on the head with these, Pieter. Thank you again for having me share it. I think Stacy can agree that a quick little summary was helpful. I tend to wander sometimes, as I’m sure you know.

    A Final Word for Aspiring Writers

    Now, here you go. Here’s your list back. And I suppose that concludes my little speech for today’s gathering. I rather like to have these in the parlour, don’t you?

    They’re much less formal. Now, I think I need to go and check what’s taking the kettle so long. Before I go, though, let me leave you with a little something to discuss amongst yourselves.

    Support comes in all shapes and sizes. Whether you prefer to participate in online writing communities rather than those found in a coffee shop is entirely up to you.

    The validity of your experience as a writer isn’t determined by anyone else. Step by step, you need to take the road that will help you and, as a result, those around you the most. Ok, I’ll be right back.

    Shaun van Rensburg

    Shaun van Rensburg lives in South Africa with his cat. Over the years, he has published several short stories in various anthologies. Most recently, his first novel was published through his imprint, Pink Dove Books.